Tag Archive: God


Beautiful Birthday Girl

Michaelle, today you turn 8 years old on December 8th, what a Beautiful Golden Birthday!!

When I met you nearly one year ago on Bellevue Mountain…I had no idea what God had in store for you, me or us…

First day I met Michaelle

In the last year…we’ve been through A LOT of trials, pain and sickness…but we have had a lot of friends to help us through 🙂

A LOT of friends 🙂

We’ve lost some family…

Micha and Gabriel

And found some family 🙂

The day Michaelle reunited with her little sister Jessica

First day of school

We’ve learned to give…

Micha holding little Lovemandy at an orphanage in Gressier

And we’ve learned the joy of receiving…

Micha opening a present from friends

Micha, your  sweet spirit, joy and compassion are such a gift.  I am so blessed and grateful for you my precious girl 🙂 …You have changed my life and the lives of so many others!

Michaelle on Bellevue Mountain Last Week

Happy 8th Birthday Beautiful Michaelle!

Beautiful Feet

I was about to sit on the side of the bathtub the other night to bathe Jessica.  As I took off my sandals to sit on the ledge of the tub she looked at my feet and said, “Mommy, your feet are dirty, let me wash them.”  At first I looked down at my feet which had been all over Bellevue Mountain that day, and said, “No way Jessi!  They are way too dirty…I’ll wash them.  You don’t need to.” 

Then she looked up at me and said, “No, I want to.”  And insisted that I let her.

After seeing her persistency in wanting to wash my feet, I somewhat reluctantly let her.

As soon as she began, my heart fluttered as I saw Jesus.  I saw Jesus, Beautifully and clearly in her and what she was doing.

As she began washing my feet Michaelle walked in for her bath and then joined in.  By this point, of course I was holding back tears…they did this in silence as they diligently and slowly worked on washing my dirty feet…

I couldn’t help but think about how Jesus…a King…Our Savior…the night before he was going to be crucified, washed each of His disciples feet.  I thought of how symbolic it was for Jesus to do this…His humility, this sincere act of service, His love…

 “When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” John 13: 12-17

Just as I was thinking of the above words of Jesus in the Gospel of John, Jessica looked up at me and said gently, “Okay when I’m done, you can wash my feet.”

So as they finished with me…both of my girls sat on the ledge of the tub as I bent down and washed their feet…tears rolling down my cheeks and my heart beating quickly as I thought of Jesus loving His disciples so much as to gently wash their feet…as I slowly poured water over their small feet, I began to pray.

I prayed over where their feet had been. 

Their feet that tell such stories…Their feet, rough from going years without wearing shoes, scarred from wounds that were left untreated…I prayed over their feet as I thought about their pasts, their journeys, where they had been…not necessarily understanding why God had let this precious 4 year old and 7 year old walk through the pain, confusion, hurt or fear that they have walked through…but also knowing that even with these difficult situations, Our Just and loving Father had them in the palm of His and hand and had us walk into each others lives.

As we sat in silence, I looked into their eyes as they carefully watched me washing…I then began to tell them about Jesus washing the feet of his disciples…I told them how Jesus knelt down and washed each persons feet slowly…the look in their eyes of knowing this was something Jesus had done was unforgettable.

As Jessica asked questions about how many feet Jesus had to wash and as Micha exclaimed she’d seen it in a book…I saw their love for Jesus and their desire to know more…as I finished up and answered their many questions…Micha looked at me and so genuinely stated, “When I see Jesus, I’m going to wash His feet and make them beautiful.”

I smiled picturing that in my head.  After I put them to bed I read a verse that Micha reminded me of and always encourages me…

“How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness…” Isaiah 52:7

As I prayed over these words and my girls, I thanked God for their Journey and mine- to each other.  Knowing that I would have given anything for them to not have had to walk through the pain and heartaches, but trusting God as our Faithful and Just Father, knowing and believing that He has held them their ENTIRE lives…

I went to bed remembering the first time I saw Michaelle on Bellevue Mountain, almost one year ago from now, barefoot, hungry and sick.  I thought about my journey to Haiti and to her.  I thought about my school and how God used Michaelle to give me the vision for it.  I thought of the long search to find Jessica, and how I’m still trying to put the pieces together of where her journey took her.

I went to bed, believing in God’s divine plan for our journeys, all of our journeys.  How our beautiful feet are given the task, the gift of proclaiming His Name, proclaiming His love, wherever we are, whatever that looks like. 

Walking in his shoes…

The needs of this country are hard to see everyday.  Death is hard to see.  Hunger is hard when it knocks at your gate every day.  Poverty is hard when they are your physical neighbors.

But for me, the hardest part of every day is seeing children at home, washing dishes or clothes, cooking, cleaning or just doing nothing in the middle of the day when they should be in school.

________________________

Walking to the mountain again, mid morning, I met him along the way.  Barefoot, in an oversized t-shirt, smiling big and telling me Good Morning, there was little John.  As he followed behind me keeping his distance, I stopped on the top of Bellevue Mountain and turned around.  I asked how he was and as he looked at the ground and kicked a piece of rebar he said, “Pa pi Mal.”  Meaning, not too bad.

I’d never seen him before so I asked his name and then introduced myself, before I could even finish, “My name…” He looked up at me and said, “I know you, You’re Megan!” and smiled, his deep brown eyes still looking at the ground.

As I saw his bare feet, torn t-shirt and skinny figure, I knew the answer, but I asked him anyway, “Are you in school?”

For the first time in our conversation, he lifted his eyes from the ground and said loudly, “No.”  I went on to ask him some more questions about his schooling and family.

Trying to hide my heartbreak for an 11-year-old boy living with “family” members who can’t afford to put him in school.   I could tell that he didn’t have a voice, that he didn’t have someone telling him to brush his teeth or go to bed or telling him I Love You.

As we talked a bit longer, I began praying vigorously for the next step.  It seems easy right?  But, Respire Haiti Christian School is FILLED to capacity.  We have over 360 children now.  We have already started talking with our builder about adding classrooms, we’ve talked with the teachers about hiring assistants and splitting some classes.  We know that we cannot just keep stuffing children into our school, just as important as them BEING in school is them having the ability to successfully LEARN in our school.

The truth is that it is so extremely difficult to walk to my school being built on Bellevue Mountain, not because it’s strenuous or far away, but because without a doubt, every single time, I meet more children who are not in school.  My heart breaks and feels heavy, my mind starts jumping through hoops counting up the number enrolled in each class in my head and it is so hard.

I could see John’s eyes pleading with me, and I could feel the Lord just saying Yes, so I looked at him and said that I would come to his house and speak with his caregivers so he could come to our school.  He lit up and immediately and I just heard Christ’s words pouring into my heart….

“Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making His appeal through us.” 2 Corinthians 5:20

I could see John’s appeal in his eyes.  I could hear his appeal in His voice.

I know God is bigger than squishy classrooms, that He knows how many children He is enrolling in our school.  That HE is and will continue to work out the details and everything else…He reminds me of this constantly…

Yesterday as I was picking up Michaelle and Jessica from school I ran into one of my neighbors who was picking up his children, all three of them.  As we all walked home together he began pouring his heart out saying that he had his children in another school before the earthquake, but as he lost his house, his job and as the prices for the other school rose to an outrageous amount last year he had to take them out.  He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “Without you, without this school, my children would be at home not learning, I thank God for you every day.  Please know, that WE are with You.”  He then wiped his eyes and said, “God Bless You.”

I looked at him and all I could murmur back was, “God Bless you too.”

Standing outside of the gate to my house I was in shock.  My mind was racing, not about how nice that was, or how he said some sweet things.  My mind was racing about how BIG our God isHow BIG He is to know that He would get me to Gressier.  How BIG that He set up every step, every skill, every connection…all the way to get me to this point of building a school.

God is moving, and He is moving fast and His vision is BIG.  We have just been offered by the city of Gressier to buy, Yes, BUY, the top of Bellevue Mountain.  If we buy this, that means we will have almost 4 acres total of land on this beautiful mountain, and this will be a wonderful amount of space to expand Respire Haiti Christian School to fulfill the vision God has for it.

What’s amazing, is that the whole top of the mountain is being sold to us for 50% of the price because the city loves what Respire Haiti is doing and wants us to continue to build in this community.  For $45,000 we will buy just over another acre of land.  Other individuals and organizations have inquired about it, but the magistrates and judges have given us the first choice in hopes that we will buy it for these children. Even though this is a scary endeavor, buying more land, God is moving all of our hearts towards, YES and TRUST ME with this!

If you would like to support us in this purchase, please visit, Respire Haiti

Thank you for journeying with us through this as we are constantly reminded, All things are possible for him who believes.

Not My Life.

Going to visit my home state of Louisiana is so bittersweet.   It’s always difficult to leave Gressier, Haiti and especially my girls- but getting to see my family and friends is always refreshing and exciting.

But this time home was extremely difficult…I guess though the longer I’m in Haiti the harder it is to leave even for one week or 10 days.

I heard someone say that after living in a foreign country for a while that you reach the “time and place” where you aren’t home until heaven  (when I’m back in the United States I miss Haiti and when I’m back in Haiti I miss the United States).  That’s where I am, and it’s hard…

After speaking at a church last weekend many people came up to me and my mom and stated, “I could never do that”, and they’d look at my mom and say, “How did you let her do this?”  I loved my mom’s graceful answer of a gentle smile and a laugh because she knows that this is not something that she “allowed” or didn’t “allow”.  Instead it was a deep embedded burden from God.

Being from a close-knit Southern Louisiana family  (who ALL live in Lafayette- very close to each other) that STILL gets together with about 30 people every Sunday at noon for “Sunday dinner” and gets together for everyone’s birthday- it’s hard—I’ve missed birthdays, holidays, births, deaths, weddings…

Being here is not just giving up one thing OR making a choice that’s easy and that I believe in ALL the time…100%.

My decision is not a place.  My belief is not a calling “I feel”.  My decision is following Christ, and my belief is being in His will, wherever on earth that is and whatever that looks like.

I KNOW God has called me here to Gressier, I KNOW I am where he wants me, but that doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t break when I only get to SEE pictures of my twin cousins that were born,…or that my heart doesn’t jump in my throat when I get the emails about my family meeting for Sunday dinners, birthdays or celebrations.  (especially when they are having roast and rice and gravy…or crawfish etoufee!)

But sometimes, as much as I want to just turn around and head home to where I grew up, where I am comfortable and feel safe…I then read Luke 12…

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate His own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes and even HIS OWN LIFE He cannot be my disciple.  Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.”

“Hating…even His Own Life…”…

What a challenge.  A huge challenge.

Trying to get back into the swing of things after only a few days here in Haiti is challenging…it is hard to “Hate my own life.” ESPECIALLY when I have just returned from my “old” life….And especially When the world of America is so appealing…simple pleasures- beautiful grocery stores (with TONS of selections of cheese)…wonderful things like coffee shops and Target 🙂 …Chick fil a…hot showers…no bug bites…

The truth is, I love my family, more than anything…I love my friends, more than anything…I miss them, more than anything…that is anything, except for Christ…and HIS plans for me, for Respire Haiti, for the children and families of Gressier, Haiti.

What an impossible decision to make…to choose fighting for others families and children when I feel at times I am neglecting my “own”, biological family (and friends).  It is a challenge.  And many times leaves me disappointing others and in a place where I KNOW I am where God wants me but sometimes I ache to be with my family and friends.

The most important commandment….”And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Matthew 12:30

If coming to Haiti was simply a “decision” I made to move away, then I can tell you there is NO way I would still be here…

Simply because I in and of myself, am NOT that strong.

I am NOT strong enough to handle the overwhelming need, the poverty…the hurting, abused, neglected children…the enormous amount of slaves, child slaves, domestic servants…the young pregnant women, younger than me….

It would seem like because I am actually living here in Gressier, fighting for these children, building a school…living the day in and day out challenges…that I am unwaveringly following my “call” to Haiti…

The truth is, in the midst of such difficulty, sometimes my flesh cries out to run away…to be comfortable…to not be so “radical” in living…but then God calms my nerves…and reminds me what “Fighting for the Fatherless” looks like…he reminds me what “visiting orphans and widows in their distress” looks like…and then I am grateful.

Grateful to be used by Him.  Blessed that HE, a God who is SO big and doesn’t NEED me, has chosen little, imperfect, broken ME to be His hands and feet here.

God then reminds me that BECAUSE of my family I am able to be here in Gressier showing children what it is like to be loved.  Showing families what it means to be a family.  Reuniting lost, stolen children with their mothers and fathers.  HE reminds me because of where I came from and the love my family has for each other…that HE used THEM to show ME what unconditional love looks like.  And now, I have the amazing journey and gift of passing that forward.

To my family:  THANK YOU for your support, prayers and encouragement.  Even when sometimes what I’m doing looks crazy, you’ve been the first to be my board members, cheerleaders, encouragers and prayer warriors…I would not be here in Gressier building this school, feeding these children and being their voice without you.  I love you all!

In Memory of my Grandmother who recently passed away (9/23/23-8/21/11) As she battled with Alzheimer’s her daughters and sons were an amazing testament of unconditional love- through thick, thin, stubbornness and humor.  I love you Maw Maw and thank you for giving me your stubbornness, your strong will and MOST importantly your vigorous belief in prayer.

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